Moving to a new place and meeting new people has really made me think about friendships. We’ve only been in Austin a little over a month now and I feel I have so many friends here! It’s an odd thing, I think, that when you’ve moved away to a new place you begin to realize, perhaps even for the first time, how important it is to have friends nearby. Of course I have Glen, who is my very best friend, but having other friends adds a type of variety and depth to your life that you probably wouldn’t have otherwise.
Even from my little group of friends I have here, I feel like I have developed a type of support group. It sounds funny, but it’s true! And I can’t tell you how helpful it has been. My friend Mary had a little birthday party for our other friend Mindy, and I met so many people there. Mary moved in the same time we did, but she just invited everyone she met on the two previous Sundays. It was great! I got to know so many women, and they got to know me. It is so nice to have people ask me questions like how the job search is coming, and to have them invite me to other activities during the day because they know the situation I’m in. Bottom line, I really like my friends here in Austin.
But this thought led to another, Well what about when we move away? Will we still be friends? And then that thought led me to think about all the people in my life that I considered to be good friends of mine, and I didn’t even have to move away for us to “stop” being friends.
Do you ever think about that? They say “friends come and go,” but why does this happen? Why do we have to faze friends in and out, as if we only have room in our friend jar for a certain number of friends? I wish every friend we made could continue to be our friends, regardless of how long you go without talking, or how far away you move. Then we would probably never feel alone, and always feel loved, because we would have hundreds of friends, every where, all the time. Why does there have to be this sense of “I used to be friends with her, but that was years ago. I don’t know anything about her now.” Does that even matter?
There are girls who I used to consider really close friends, some even my best friends. And to my knowledge, none of these friendships ended because of some fight, or some kind of altercation. We just… grew up and grew apart, got new friends, had different classes, got a boyfriend etc.
Why do we let this happen?
So, I decided to write a little note to some of those friends that meant something to me at one time or another. I would like to tell all of them thank you, that I miss them, and that I still have many good memories with them. I thought about this for a long time, and wondered if a public blog was an appropriate place to do such a thing. Why not just send them a private message? Well, I figured that sending a message would perhaps make them feel obligated to send a reply, when in fact, this is not the case. There is no need for reply. My purpose here is exactly what I stated above: to tell these girls that they meant something to me and I haven’t forgotten.
Candace: I have so many great memories with you. I think we met in 7th grade either playing softball or in Drama with Ms. Tanner. To this day I think you’re one of the people who have made me laugh the hardest. We used to be goofy out on the field and I loved that you were so funny and always in a good mood. Coach West gave us medals after one season of softball and they spelled your name “Candance.” I still laugh when I think about it. We had a couple sleepovers at your house and I always had a lot of fun with you.
Chelsea: We used to be best best friends for a year or two in high school! Holy cow we did so many fun things together. I loved it when we would hang out at my dad’s shop and how we both took auto one semester. On my 16th birthday you bought me a bunch of leopard-skinned stuff to decorate my car with, and even though I didn’t have my license yet, my dad let me take it out and go cruising. While we were out, we witnessed a small dog flying out of the bed of a truck, being driven by two ugly guys that tried to race us. They won, but not really because their dog’s face skidded across the road and almost died. You almost cried but instead we almost peed our pants laughing so hard. You used to make the best CD mixes and we would listen to them in my car. I still think about those things all the time, and I really miss it.
Danielle: I can’t remember when we became close friends, but we were always neighbors. It may have been around when we were 12 because I remember you telling me all about girls camp and getting excited for my first year. I think during that summer I came over to your house every day. Sometimes I would be brave enough to cut through the Phillips’ back yard, but most the time I was too afraid so I would walk all the way around the block. We would roam the mall, or stay home and play Harvest Moon on N64. You also introduced me to 10th Kingdom, which is now one of my all time favorite things to watch. You had a friend or cousin come visit from Indonesia and she went to girl’s camp with us. We both tried to learn the language before she came, but pretty much failed. We became friends with Heather and Kelly, whom you are still close with. We dated those boys that were all friends. I was going out with Todd, and then he moved and we never heard from him again hahaha
Jessica: We are still talk occasionally because you are close with Harmony. But we met in Drama with Ms. Tanner, who was just crazy. We had a good time at play rehearsals and goofing off all the time. In 9th grade we were in the same Geography class with that really tall guy who was the basketball coach. We passed notes to each other and as a result, probably got really bad grades.
Julia: We worked at Allyse’s together. I remember the first time I saw you I thought you were Hayden Panettiere. You saw me on campus once and we talked. We talked all the time and you were part of the reason I became an English major, which is awesome because that’s where I ended up meeting Glen. After my dad died you were so great and would listen to me. Occasionally you would text me and we would meet up on campus for lunch. Once during a fashion show we did for Allyse’s I totally lost it after peeking through the curtains and saw someone’s dad holding a camera. I wished it was my dad. I cried to you for a while and you cried too. I was glad you were there.
Kawai: We met at Soar! We stayed up really late every night and wished that we were roommates but instead we were stuck with other people. One night you dragged your mattress all the way into my room and slept there. You got startled early the next morning when you thought our counselor was coming to wake us up, so you jumped up so fast and tried to drag your mattress back to your room quickly, which was not possible. It was so funny I was laughing super hard. After Soar ended I came and picked you up from your cousin’s house and I took you up the canyon to see the mountains. You went back to Hawaii and we emailed each other back and forth for a while, but eventually we lost contact. Except I found you on facebook the other day :)
Kelly: We met in drama at Centennial Middle School. You always had so much energy and pizzazz that I always wanted to be around you. We found out that our moms went to high school together and I thought that was pretty neat. You were such a loyal friend and I knew I could always trust you. For a time, you, me, Heather, and Danielle were good friends. After Todd “kissed” me for the first and only time (which happened right across from your house) I felt so guilty that I cried and we sat in your room for a while. We were friends for a bit in high school because you dated some of my friends. We don’t talk anymore but I love reading your blog because you still have that energy and pizzazz that I remember.
Kellie: We were in the same Wolf Pack at Centennial with Ms. Smith. We became friends. I think you were also in my health class that year. You introduced me to your sister, Korrie. Somehow, we all ended up on the cheer squad. It really is all blurry for me now, but I remember practicing and having sleepovers at Rachel’s house. We even had a sleepover at your house too. You and Korrie did awesome back handsprings and that made me feel like we were legit cheerleaders.
Paige: Our moms knew each other because I think they coached cheer together, or something like that. I forget how we became friends, but I think it was because one of my friends liked you a whole lot, and you ended up dating him. We were also in the same Geo/Trig class, which was taught by your mom. We had this notebook that we would pass around and write things to each other and then hand it off. You wrote really amazing songs and would play them for us on the piano. You were so funny and you had such a great attitude about things. Recently, I found your blog and you found mine, and I’m glad that we can keep in touch that way.
Sarah: We met through Emily, who lived across the street from your sister. We played every time you came to visit from Vegas. You invited us to go boating, and I think your sister even took us to Lagoon once! You introduced me to the Backstreet Boys, who I became obsessed with shortly after. We grew up and kind of grew apart. When my dad died you came to his viewing, and I thought that was really nice of you.
So, this is me deciding that I am going to be a better friend and make sure my friends don’t get left behind or forgotten. I have many years of life ahead of me and I’m going to try to expand my friend jar to a friend stadium where there is no limit to how many friends I keep in touch with.
Have a great weekend!
Nicole I Love you and miss you dearly!!
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