For My Sista

My younger sister Lydia had a birthday last week, and when I realized that she was turning 17, I just about fell over. I know it’s cliché, but it seems like just yesterday that she was a small, chubby little baby (see figure A). As the oldest child in the family, I had the privilege of watching all my younger siblings grow up, starting from the day they were born. So, I can truthfully tell you that Lydia was just as stubborn and strong-willed as a child as she is today.

Figure A.
Now, her stubbornness is not necessarily a bad thing for her. But when she was younger it was kind of hard to deal with. For example, on occasion Lydia would disobey my mom or break some small rule and she would get sent to time-out. She was told that she could come out as soon as she apologized. Well, let’s just say that nobody saw Lydia that day.

We would also see Lydia’s stubbornness by the way she would only allow herself to control her emotions. If she didn’t feel like smiling, she wouldn’t. Not even if we were taking a picture and everyone was yelling her name, snapping their fingers and making funny faces to make her laugh. It was like she knew what she was supposed to do, but she wasn't going to do it if she didn't feel like it. (See figures B and C).

Figure B.

Figure C.

Lydia was born just one month before our cousin Morgan. Sometimes my grandma would tend them both at the same time. We had one of those baby swings that hung from the top of the door frame, and when she would put Morgan in, she would just happily bounce, and bounce, and bounce, with a huge smile on her face. Those who were watching would laugh and smile with her, making Morgan bounce and giggle more. Then my grandma would put Lydia in. Most of the time, Lydia would just sit there. She might stick a foot out, pointed, and just twirl back and forth, but she was not going to put on a show just because we wanted her to. And although my grandma was worried that something was wrong with her, we started to figure out that this was just her personality.

Neitzche once said, “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.” We have attributed this phrase to how Lydia has always lived her life. When Kelsey (our sister in between us) was 5 years old she had 15 cavities. My mom took Kelsey to the dentist to have them filled, and, not surprisingly for a 5-year-old, Kelsey was screaming and crying the whole time. They could barely keep her down long enough to get the job done! Two years later, my mom was dreading taking Lydia in, who unfortunately also had 15 cavities at the same age. She was preparing to deal with the worst, which would be a reaction like Kelsey's. But Lydia was different. As my mom tells it, she sat next to Lydia while she squeezed her hand, and watched in amazement as only a single tear trickled down her face.

I lived at home my freshman year of college. That year, Lydia was starting her first year of middle school. As I would prepare to leave for my classes, I watched as Lydia gathered her things, ready to walk to the bus stop. One chilly November day, I noticed that she wasn’t wearing a jacket. “Lydia,” I said, “Why aren’t you wearing a jacket?” She looked at me with a straight face and said, “Oh. I’m training my body to resist the cold. Soon I won’t even feel it anymore.” With that she threw her bag onto her shoulder and walked out the door.


Lydia has always seemed to know what the most important things in life were. As I have gone through pictures of the last few years of my dad’s life, Lydia is in most of them, along with the two youngest, Christopher and Andrea. There are hundreds of pictures of her with those kids and my dad, hanging out at my dad’s shop or at different family reunions that, as an angsty teenager at the time, I felt I was too busy for. Those activities probably weren’t on the top of Lydia’s “fun” list, but I feel like, even at such a young age, she knew the importance of family, and her role in it.



It also became apparent to us that she knew the importance of scripture reading, praying, and writing in her journal. The night my dad died, I witnessed as my 13-year-old sister opened her scriptures, read them, wrote in her journal, knelt at her bed, and then went to sleep. I will never forget that image in my head, for it will stand as the ultimate example of diligence as we learn from the scriptures.

For these reasons and many, many others, I really look up to Lydia, even though I am 5 years her senior. I respect her so much, and have been grateful for the aid she’s given me through the hardest times in my life.

On one particular occasion during my sophomore year at BYU, I was having a really hard time focusing, which I guess isn’t that unusual for me but it was much worse than usual. It was only 2 or 3 months after my dad had passed away, and I was struggling with my school assignments and even my social life. Everything seemed to be so unbearable, and I just wanted to give up. I remember coming home from school late one evening and sitting on the couch. I sat there until my mom came and sat next to me and asked how I was feeling. I sobbed in her arms for a long while. My mother then went upstairs and gathered the other 4 children and brought them downstairs. She explained to them that I was having a really hard time, and that we were all going to kneel and pray in my behalf. As I listened to my mother’s prayer I continued to cry, but because I felt so loved by my family. When we said Amen, I looked up and saw Lydia was also crying. She hugged me real tight and I knew she really was hurting for me, especially because I didn’t see her cry too often.

Lydia has turned into a remarkable young woman, and really, it is amazing that she has gone from crazy baby (figure D) to beautiful adult (figure E).

Figure D.


Figure E.

Note: Lydia is NOT married. This picture was taken by Elizabeth Taylor Frandsen (whom I also used for my wedding) during a just-for-fun photo shoot. Click here to check out more of her stuff, and click here to see more pictures from this shoot.

I love her so dearly and look up to her so much. In many ways, she is much like our ancestor, Lydia Goldthwaite Knight, who dealt with so many trials of her own but was always so strong. If you have the time, click here and read her story that was printed in the Ensign. It’s a great story, and if you know Lydia, you’ll agree that she shares many of the same characteristics as the woman whom she was named after.

As my dad would sing to Lydia in the mornings to wake her up, I quote him, imitating Lydia’s childhood speech impediment, “Yiddia oh Yiddia, I yove my yittle Yiddia. Yiddia, oh Yiddia, oh Yiddia.”

I love you Lyd!

Matching jeans/genes

With Grandma and Grandpa Nielsen

Getting to the airport only to realize that Lydia left her suitcase at home.
We were going to Hawaii...
You can see the tear in her left eye. She won't let it drop!

Lyd's birthday, 2010

Miss you!